Cross Country Move Part 1

Another Move

One of my Soldiers once said to me “I’m uncomfortable when people thank me for my service because I don’t do anything to deserve it”. I thought about this and said “you make sacrifices every single day just be being in the military.” And it’s true. We don’t all fight in a war but we do all make sacrifices. A huge sacrifice is moving.

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When I was done with high school and undergrad I couldn’t wait to move. I wanted away from Connecticut and the East Coast, away from people that had known me my whole life, and a totally fresh start. I got exactly that in the Midwest. I wouldn’t say I got the chance to be someone new, just that I got the chance to grow up. When you live in a small town everyone is used to you the way you are and you basically aren’t allowed to be anything different (except of course for a few good friends!). I absolutely loved it, and in a few years, I was ready to move again.

At first I loved this part of the military. Never settling down, always floating to the next place. New people, new houses, exploring. I loved it all. But I am O-V-E-R it. On this last move I was really fortunate- I could go to any school I wanted. My parents had moved to Arizona, my in-laws live in Southern California…. It was the perfect opportunity to raise my kids near grandparents for a few years. Now, it is even harder to uproot our lives and move. Plus… now there are SEVEN of us (more if you count two dogs, a cat and a tortoise).

“But it’s Free!”

“Oh but the military moves you”. Not exactly. Yes, we have movers that come, pack and deliver your stuff but this is not instantaneous. For us it usually takes about 4 days to pack and load and then we say goodbye to everything for about 3 weeks not knowing what will actually make it to the other side. See the movers are notorious for packing up your bathroom trash can with trash still in it but losing a box of clothes on the way. One time my TV was wrapped only in a moving blanket and shoved in the truck. Amazingly, it made it. We moved a fridge and they forgot it so they just put it on the back of the truck with nothing protecting it. The fridge made it…. With a lot of damage. Often you will unpack a box that might be labeled “sound bar” and in it you will find the most random collection of items from all over your house. Including your kitchen knives. With NO warning on the box.

Anyways, my point is you have to plan to not have your stuff for at least a few weeks. Before the movers come you need to separate your house and make an area of things that you can use to camp in an empty house (clothes, air mattresses, sheets, pots and pans etc). You also have to be very certain that movers don’t accidently swoop this pile of stuff up with them.

“At least the Army pays for everything”. Not quite. Moving is expensive, no matter how you do it. Yes, the Army pays for the movers, and we weigh our vehicles before and after loading and the Army pays us to drive that weight across the country. This is probably where we make some of our money back because they pay a certain amount per mile and they give us a certain number of days to get it done. We have 7 to get from Arizona to Maryland. Instead of paying for each hotel along the way they give a flat rate for all 7 of us (even the baby) each day of the trip. They also will pay you back for some moving related expenses (renting a trailer, your weight tickets, if you had to go out and buy bins to pack your stuff in).

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But there are a lot of other expenses to moving that aren’t covered. To buy a house in Maryland my husband had to 1. Fly out there. 2. Rent a car. 3. Stay in a hotel. 4. Cook/eat out while he was there. 5. Not work while he was doing it which meant no income from him while he was there. Meanwhile I was back home with 5 kids one of which was only 3 weeks old (shout out to my parents for helping so much!) All of that had to come from us and wouldn’t if the Army wasn’t telling us to move.

The Countdown is On

We also don’t get to choose WHEN we move. Buying a house in Maryland is bat shit crazy right now. Houses go live on a Thursday and are gone by Sunday for offers that are 100k over asking, cash and all inspections waived. We are extremely fortunate that we picked an older house in a rural area on Memorial Day weekend so we were the first offer and we got it at asking. But it is still WAY more than we wanted to pay. Meanwhile the market in Tucson seems to be slowing down meaning we will soon be paying a mortgage on a house in Maryland, and our house in Arizona until it sells. Plus, the loan we had to take out to be able to afford the downpayment on the new house. If you’re renting you have things like security deposits and cleaning fees. It is possible to get some money up front from the Army so you don’t feel this as much but that money is paid back. So, in the end you still lose money. And we get to do this every 2 to 4 years. Yay!

The Army also expects all this to happen very quickly. Officially, we only get the 7 days of travel and 10 days of house hunting. If you didn’t have any extra leave to take then that’s what you have to make a cross country move happen in. Fortunately, I’ve been hanging out in civilian land not having to take leave because I live near family. I have so much built up I need to use 30 days plus I’m on maternity leave so I can take my time with this move.

And that’s just GETTING to the place. Once you are there and your stuff finally gets delivered you also have to unpack and move in. It isn’t just me or just me and my husband anymore. We have five kids. There is a whole pile of stuff I have to arrange. Doctors, specialists, dentists, school, CHILDCARE. Oh the military has childcare on base? But they won’t tell me what the waitlist is until just 30 days before I need care. What if the waitlist is 1.5 years like it was in Washington? Plus, my kids are older and they have built lives here. That means finding a gymnastics gym, rock climbing, girl scouts (all with their own registration fees). Again- so so thankful I’m on maternity leave so I actually have time to be doing all this.

Emotions Run High

Moving is not easy. The logistics are hard, the finances are hard. But this will also be the most emotional move yet. We have never lived close to family before, and our kids our older. It’s not just the life and people my husband and I have surrounded ourselves with that we need to say goodbye to. It’s my daughter’s elementary school, it’s the daycare, it’s their friends, it’s their activities. It’s the house I brought two more babies home to. It’s being able to see their grandparents on a regular basis. It’s being close to my parents again. It’s Sunday dinners together and sleepovers at granddads. It’s regular visits to California and hanging with their cousins. The 7 and 5 year olds are old enough to know what is happening and be stressed/sad/ excited about it all.

I wanted to write a post about how I handle everything that goes into moving, but I couldn’t do that without explaining more on the sacrifices that go into a military move. A move that we sign up for being active duty, but a move that isn’t necessarily what we want or when we want to happen. So yes, even those of us that never deploy continue to make sacrifices in our military careers.

2 thoughts on “Cross Country Move Part 1”

  1. Wondering why they require you to move all the time. How many moves have you done and where were they all.

    1. I think it mostly has to do with career progression. In order to grow you need to do a different job. For us veterinarians there are also a lot of facets to our job and some locations have more animal work and others have more food work and the Army likes a well rounded Soldier so you get to experience both.
      Since I’ve been in 10 years ago we have been to North Carolina, Kentucky, Washington, Arizona and now Maryland. With a lot of training down in San Antonio Texas!

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